it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
