upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
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