I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Randomize
