laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Two words: blizzard sex
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
