If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
high people should be assigned attendants
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
