You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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