Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
