So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
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