What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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