We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Still dying that you shit outside
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
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