im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
