one two three fourrrrnication!
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Randomize
