I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
