just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
