White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
we're making bets on your personal life
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
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