yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
