Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I want a musical about memes.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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