There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
