Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I have already put on my inside pants.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
