Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
Randomize
