We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Randomize
