before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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