you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Randomize
