Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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