Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
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