walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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