Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
