i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
