It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
