Quick, to the slutcave!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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