New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
