i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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