Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
