dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I love you. Go after that dick
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
