fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
