he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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