why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
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