My nipple is on Facebook.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
