He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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