i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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