Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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