I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
