I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
