even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
