Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
I see more hoeing in ur future
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