I puked a lego.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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