I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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