My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
