Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
