We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
