yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
