i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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