I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
