did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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