he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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