his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
