Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
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