just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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